destined to be mine 2

"YHONNA!"

That was the nth time I called her. But tulad kanina, hindi pa rin siya lumingon. Tuluy-tuloy pa rin siya hanggang exit ng mall. Gusto ko siyang habulin but she specifically told me to leave her alone. At iyon ang hindi ko maintindihan.

Why? What did I do wrong?

Kanina ko pa nahalata na malungkot siya. Akala ko nabu-bore lang siya kaya niyaya niya akong lumabas. But now…

"Ang labo talaga ng babaeng iyon," I said out loud.

Wala na akong pakialam kung marinig man ako ng mga taong nasa paligid ko. I was so pissed off. Ang hirap talagang intindihin ng mga babae. Misyon na yata nila sa buhay ang pahirapan kaming mga lalaki. And my girlfriend happened to be a classic example of that fact. Bakit ba nila kailangang gawing complicated ang simpleng mga bagay?

Kung hindi ko lang mahal ang babaeng iyon, naku! Iniwan ko pa naman ang game ko sa facebook just to be with her today. Kahit nalugi na ako ng ilang millions sa FarmVille, keri lang. Tapos bigla na lang niya ako lalayasan.

Hay. I remember the first time I saw her sa isang coffeeshop. She really looked fascinating and animated while she was talking to her friends. Then her eyes flicked at my direction and smiled at me. The room looked even brighter then. Parang naging common ground namin ang coffeeshop. Tuwing break ay nakakasabay ko siya. I finally had the courage to talk to her noong sabay kaming umorder sa counter and the barista asked for her name.

"Nice name," sabi ko.

"Thank you," sagot niya and smiled.

"I'm Kenneth by the way."

"I know." Nagulat pa ako sa narinig ko.

"You know? How?"

"I heard someone call your name once," sabi niya.

That was the start of our friendly conversation. After that, palagi na kaming sabay na nagka-kape every breaktime. I will not order unless kasama ko siya at hinihintay din niya ako minsan. I learned a lot about her. She was so easy to talk to. Parang pwede kong sabihin sa kanya lahat. She loves football too (soccer in US) and favors alternative rock over girly pop music. Kaya magkakasundo kami. Moody nga lang siya but that's okay. Wala naman yatang babae na walang mood swings. One thing led to another and before I knew it, kami na. It was the happiest day of my life. I remember that day--

"Kenneth!"

Naputol ang silent monologue ko when I heard someone call my name. Nilingon ko ang pinanggalingan ng boses and my eyes widened.

"M-mahal?" halos hindi ako makapaniwala.

Standing before me was my ex, Mahalia Satore. Everyone calls her "mahal" dahil iyon ang nickname niya.

"Hi, Ken. Long time no see," bati niya.

She tiptoed and planted a quick kiss on my cheek. Instinctively, napayakap ako sa kanya for a very brief moment. But it was enough to get my mind off my earlier predicament.

"Kumusta ka na?" she asked.

"Uhm, eto. Okay naman. Ikaw? Kailan ka dumating? How's Istanbul?" sunud-sunod kong tanong.

Noong maghiwalay kasi kami ay sa Istanbul siya dinala ng bago niyang boyfriend at that time. Hindi ko alam kung sila pa ba hanggang ngayon.

Instead of answering my questions, umangkla siya sa akin. "Lika, kape tayo. I'll tell you all about it," sagot niya.

Hindi agad ako nakakibo. I simply stared at her. Sure, she looked prettier and sexier now than the last time I saw her. And the neckline of her dress is a little too low for my peace of mind. Every little piece of me wants to go with her pero parang may mali. My brain is feeding signals, warning me not to get too friendly.

She's my ex afterall and I don’t want to rekindle old flames just in case. I still have a girlfriend to think about.

"O, natameme ka na diyan. Let's go?" pukaw niya sa akin.

"Uhm…n-next time na lang. May…may impportante kasi akong lakad ngayon eh. Pasensiya na ha?"

She smiled sweetly I could almost melt. "That's okay. Naiintindihan ko naman," sabi niya and let go of my arm. "Pero teka, bigay ko sa'yo ang number ko so you can keep in touch," she added.

Ayoko namang maging bastos so as a courtesy, I took out my phone and handed it to her. I looked at her again as she typed her number.

She used to be the girl of my dreams. I even thought we could end up together. But she fell in love with someone else and that was the end of the relationship. Hindi ko lang maintindihan why our paths had to cross again now.

"Heto, text mo ako ha? See you," she said and sauntered away.

Bago pa siya nawala sa paningin ko, lumingon pa muna siya and waved at me. I waved back while reprimanding myself at the same time. Sinundan ko pa talaga siya ng tingin when I shouldn't.

Tsk. Bad thoughts. Go away.

Binasa ko ang entry sa phonebook ko, the one she saved and I was completely caught offguard.

"Tweet" ang naka-save na pangalan doon. Iyon ang endearment namin noon. It was a variant of "sweet" na pinacute lang. I was the first one who thought of using that endearment para sa aming dalawa. Lalo tuloy akong naguluhan. Ano ang ibig sabihin non? Bakit iyon ang inilagay niya?

Ah, bahala na nga.

Ibinulsa ko uli ang celphone and forced myself to get Mahalia out of my mind. I still need to figure out kung bakit bigla na lang nag-walk out si Yhonna earlier. Something tells me it was my fault.

Maybe, hahayaan ko na muna siyang mag-cool down. Maybe masama lang talaga ang pakiramdam niya today. At kapag okay na siya, she will eventually tell me about it. Siya na rin ang mag-initiate na mag-uusap kami.

Well, I hope so. I really hope she will talk to me soon. I don’t want to lose Yhonna the way I lost Mahalia before.

[behind the scene]


Habang nag-iisip ako ng next scene for this story, dumating ang friend kong si Louie. The moment he stepped out of his car, I can tell he was angry. I invited him to the balcony and I found out about his predicament. Nakakahilo siyang tingnan as he paced back and forth in front of me at nagrereklamo kung bakit ganito at ganoon ang mga babae. As usual, nagre-reklamo siya sa kaartehan ng new girlfriend niya. He really looked funny and cute when he is frustrated.


"It's not about what she is and what she isn't. Instead of complaining about her flaws, why don't you just accept her for what and who she is kung talagang mahal mo? Magkaiba naman kasi ang babae at lalaki eh. You can't expect her to think and act like you dahil hindi mangyayari iyon," I said.


But deep inside, ooopss! Easier said than done. Kasi guilty din ako. There are times that I expect a lot from someone that I forget to simply accept what that person can give. If it's just one half of himself or one third or a quarter, so be it. But it would be a lot better if the person can give his 100 percent and show me his whole heart rather than just the parts that he wanted me to see. But everything takes time.


"What about me? Hindi man lang ba niya ako iintindihin?" tanong uli niya.
"Good question. Pero diba you reap what you sow?" wow. Ang sarap mag-advise. I wonder kung kaya kong gawin ang mga sinasabi ko.

p.s. kinakain daw ako ng selos while writing the scene when Kenneth saw his ex again.